[Ah, yes, so honest. When Bellamy kisses him back, this time it's slower and softer, savoring the closeness. It's a relief for that tension between them to finally be out in the open, finally be dealt with. He hadn't been aware of it consciously, but in hindsight, it's obvious it's been a factor between them for a while, shadowing all of their conversations.
He breaks the kiss, forehead still touching Murphy's, unwilling to pull away completely.]
[ Impossible, though it might take some convincing that he didn't dream it. The intensity of their connection and the blue glow illuminating the space between them casts the whole scene with a filter of unreality. If he wasn't experiencing it all with such clarity, Murphy might think he was dreaming already. ]
[ Murphy's dark lashes lower briefly in answer to that grazing touch as it sends a pleasant buzz through his nerves. Strange to realize he's so exposed, that Bellamy can feel exactly what that does to him. It was inevitable, this secret coming out. He can't not feel the way he does for Bellamy. ]
Won't be whining about anything if you shut me up.
[It's almost intoxicating, this front row seat to Murphy's reactions. It prompts another rush of affection from Bellamy, tinged with something like longing.]
[ Murphy exhales a short laugh edged with a subtle shiver. Bellamy's affection for him isn't exactly new. He's felt countless iterations of it every time they've touched. This yearning quality it's taken on, though, feels simultaneously like too much and not enough.
Maybe all that means is that Murphy's longing for him, too. ]
[ Murphy flashes a wicked grin, accepting that as a challenge. He reaches up to cradle Bellamy's nape, guiding him with a light nudge. ]
You can lie back and relax, if that's how you like it.
[ His mouth drags hungry kisses along Bellamy's jaw and down his throat. This is all he's wanted, all day long, and he's frustrated with himself for not chasing it sooner. No, Bellamy doesn't have to do anything. As long as he doesn't mind, Murphy will help himself. ]
[It wasn't actually a challenge—not in the way Murphy took it—and for a second Bellamy is ready to laugh him off, say that's not exactly what he meant.
He doesn't though, too momentarily distracted by Murphy's head dipping down, the anticipation that accompanies it. Then Murphy's lips are against his skin, and with a renewed rush of arousal he realizes that it's really fucking tempting. Bellamy can't remember the last time he didn't overthink, didn't try to analyze or anticipate whatever's coming next in any and every aspect of his life. The idea of setting that aside, even just temporarily, and allowing someone he trusts as much as Murphy to take charge is too intoxicating to pass up.
His answer is silent but still all too obvious in the way he relaxes. He's in, and if there's any doubt, the way his head tilts back and his hips shift up into Murphy's should remove all doubt.]
[ Murphy purrs, approving of Bellamy's choice. He settles over him, straddling his hips, making his own arousal known as it strains against his boxers in the tight space between them. Every kiss is a reassurance, leaving no opportunity for anxiety to come creeping back. He's got this. He doesn't want Bellamy to think about anything other than how good this feels.
Now that they're properly situated, Murphy catches his lips again. This kiss is languid, his tongue sneaking into Bellamy's mouth, first for a small taste and then for a savoring one. His fingers rake through Bellamy's curls, his other hand rising to caress his cheek. ]
[It isn't going to be very difficult for Murphy to manage—this is sort of the perfect storm. Bellamy would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he's been thinking about it all day, no thanks to the festival. Plus, the empathy bond really makes it impossible to think of much else. He's got a front row seat to everything Murphy is feeling, which only ratchets up his own emotions, a sort of intensifying feedback loop.
He lets out a low, approving sound when Murphy kisses him, his hands sliding up the muscles of his back, soaking in the warmth and contact, then lets his teeth catch Murphy's lower lip, soft and experimental, apparently in no real rush. He wants to savor this too.]
[ Murphy's heart gives a small thrill at the graze of Bellamy's teeth, his response almost overeager in its heatedness. There's a part of him that will always see Bellamy in the light of their first meeting, older and stronger and more experienced at everything, even though they're equals now. That admiration bleeds through the bond, taking with it his quietly embarrassing desire to please. It means so much to him that Bellamy wants him, beyond the obvious gratification.
He's in no hurry, either. They're a lot less likely to be interrupted here than any other time in their history. There's space to enjoy this exploratory drag of lips and teeth and tongue. He wants Bellamy to enjoy every damn thing about him. ]
[He doesn't know how to feel about the admiration. It feels unearned in some sense, but Bellamy still hasn't quite reached the point where he's parsed through all he's done, good and bad. The rest is easy to lose himself in, to brush away any feelings of inadequacy—love and trust, those things that have been such driving forces in Bellamy's life. They're all that matters right now, that and the feeling of Murphy pressed against him, lips soft and hungry.
And, well. Okay. In one breathless space between kisses, Bellamy manages a murmured question.]
You sure about this?
[It's one last out, even if he's sure the answer will be something along the lines of 'shut up'. He can't help it, though. He cares about Murphy too much not to be a thousand percent sure he won't be hating himself for this later.]
[ From here, Bellamy's the one who seems unsure. Murphy stops, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes. ]
I know what I'm doing.
[ If the bond isn't enough to make that clear, the hard press of his erection ought to. But alright. That's obviously not enough to soothe away Bellamy's anxiety. ]
Listen, we can go slow. You don't have to do anything that's gonna make you feel guilty. Just let me take care of you.
[ Murphy's hand slips between their bodies, gliding between Bellamy's legs. ]
[That is a fantastic closing argument. When Murphy touches him, he sucks in a sharp breath, his hips rocking up to meet him. He's only tangentially aware of the way his fingers dig into Murphy's back.
It's not something he's going to regret. But, he realizes belatedly, it isn't fair for him to not take Murphy at his word on this. It isn't fair to get mired up in all of these concerns about what Murphy might feel later. Murphy knows what he's doing, and there's a point where protectiveness becomes ridiculous. That point has probably long passed when they're both hard and Murphy is on top of him, promising to get him off.
So, when he finally manages an answer, it comes out rough and breathless.]
Nothing is going to make me feel guilty. I want this.
[It's already becoming blissfully hard to think, and Murphy's hand coaxes a quiet groan from him that he doesn't even bother to bite back. He lets his eyes slip closed, losing himself in the sound of Murphy's voice, the press of his lips.]
It's been real hard sleeping next to you every night. I just wanted to reach out and touch you, just like this, all the time.
[ He briefly catches Bellamy's earlobe with his teeth, giving it a light suck. ]
And that wasn't new. On the Ring, when you were the only one still talking to me... I thought about it. Thought maybe you kept coming 'cause you were thinking about it, too.
[ Given the evidence here... maybe he was. All things considered, though, it's for the best Murphy never made his move there. It's not as if this Bellamy would remember it. No, he's glad it's happening here, now. ]
Shit, Bellamy, since the first time I saw you. That's how long, how much...
[Murphy's mouth on his ear sends a renewed shiver down his spine, but that isn't what really gets him. It's everything Murphy's saying, the realization that he was unaware for so long. It feels like such a waste, and suddenly even the thin fabric between them is almost unbearable. But underneath all that intense, ever-rising arousal is deep, overwhelming affection, steady trust. He lets out a shuddering breath, turning his head to nuzzle against the shadow of stubble along Murphy's jawline.]
I think I was.
[He can't be sure, no, but it's an easy assumption to make. If Murphy wasn't with Emori up on the Ring, when they finally had time to just breathe, why wouldn't he think about it when he thought about it here? He knows exactly why he wouldn't have made the leap and done anything about it, too.
But they're not on the ground, and they're not on the Ring. They're here together, and there's no point thinking about wasted opportunities. Bellamy slides his hands down to grip Murphy's ass, half grinding their hips together.]
[ Murphy smothers a moan into Bellamy's skin. He feels so much all at once, between Bellamy's insistent desire and the affection driving it and this, these greedy hands pulling him closer. There's so much he wants to give Bellamy, too much for one night, and this feels like his only chance.
It isn't, though. Bellamy's been beside him every night for months now. With any luck, they'll have at least a couple more.
It takes all of Murphy's willpower to pull back instead of giving in to the urge to keep rutting up against Bellamy, if only so that he can shove off his boxers. He's back immediately, his mouth pressing heated kisses down Bellamy's chest as he strips him down, too. It's an impatient flurry of movement, long overdue. ]
[That's an amazing sound, and Bellamy's a little disappointed Murphy muffled it. He's about to pull him close, kiss him again, but then Murphy's pulling away to trail kisses down his torso, and Bellamy's breathing goes quick and ragged. He shifts his hips up again, aching for more contact and fighting the instinct to... do something, take the lead somehow. But he's not the one in charge this time, and so he tangles his fingers into Murphy's hair, gripping in an attempt to anchor himself.]
[ Murphy slaps his hands down on Bellamy's hips, holding him steady so that his mouth can continue its journey lower. So many hours spent fantasizing about Bellamy's taut abs, and now he's running his lips over them like he's staking his claim. He takes a moment, resting his forehead against Bellamy's stomach, to catch his breath and appreciate the fingers gripping at his hair. He can feel the urge that Bellamy's suppressing, and soon enough, Murphy will give him the chance.
But right now, it's his turn. Murphy resumes his descent, climbing down until his lips brush up against Bellamy's cock. It sends a jolt of excitement through him, finally arriving someplace he thought he'd never reach. ]
[Now it's Bellamy's turn to moan, a quiet, needy sound. It's barely any contact at all, but he can already imagine Murphy's mouth around him, and his grip tightens involuntarily. He shifts, head tilting up just enough so he can watch, anticipation edging into impatience. Bellamy does his best to suppress that too, even though he knows Murphy can feel all of it. He's being polite.]
[ Murphy's lips quirk in amusement as he feels the hint of that impatience, and the attempt to hide it, and the fingers curling tighter in his hair regardless of the effort. His eyes flick up to meet Bellamy's, holding his gaze.
He takes Bellamy into his mouth. It's an experimental taste at first, tongue gliding against the head of his cock while his lips softly cradle it. But he doesn't torture Bellamy for long, one hand leaving his hip to guide him by the shaft for a better angle. Murphy dips down again, deeper this time, tongue slicking him properly with several luxurious laps. ]
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[ Nevertheless, he catches Bellamy's lower lip to steal another kiss. It must not be too bad. ]
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He breaks the kiss, forehead still touching Murphy's, unwilling to pull away completely.]
How much did you drink again?
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[ Impossible, though it might take some convincing that he didn't dream it. The intensity of their connection and the blue glow illuminating the space between them casts the whole scene with a filter of unreality. If he wasn't experiencing it all with such clarity, Murphy might think he was dreaming already. ]
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[Bellamy's fingers slip along Murphy's jaw, thumb brushing against his lower lip.]
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Won't be whining about anything if you shut me up.
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I can never get you to shut up.
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Maybe all that means is that Murphy's longing for him, too. ]
I bet you can think of a couple ways.
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You're making me do all the heavy lifting, huh?
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You can lie back and relax, if that's how you like it.
[ His mouth drags hungry kisses along Bellamy's jaw and down his throat. This is all he's wanted, all day long, and he's frustrated with himself for not chasing it sooner. No, Bellamy doesn't have to do anything. As long as he doesn't mind, Murphy will help himself. ]
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He doesn't though, too momentarily distracted by Murphy's head dipping down, the anticipation that accompanies it. Then Murphy's lips are against his skin, and with a renewed rush of arousal he realizes that it's really fucking tempting. Bellamy can't remember the last time he didn't overthink, didn't try to analyze or anticipate whatever's coming next in any and every aspect of his life. The idea of setting that aside, even just temporarily, and allowing someone he trusts as much as Murphy to take charge is too intoxicating to pass up.
His answer is silent but still all too obvious in the way he relaxes. He's in, and if there's any doubt, the way his head tilts back and his hips shift up into Murphy's should remove all doubt.]
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Now that they're properly situated, Murphy catches his lips again. This kiss is languid, his tongue sneaking into Bellamy's mouth, first for a small taste and then for a savoring one. His fingers rake through Bellamy's curls, his other hand rising to caress his cheek. ]
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He lets out a low, approving sound when Murphy kisses him, his hands sliding up the muscles of his back, soaking in the warmth and contact, then lets his teeth catch Murphy's lower lip, soft and experimental, apparently in no real rush. He wants to savor this too.]
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He's in no hurry, either. They're a lot less likely to be interrupted here than any other time in their history. There's space to enjoy this exploratory drag of lips and teeth and tongue. He wants Bellamy to enjoy every damn thing about him. ]
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And, well. Okay. In one breathless space between kisses, Bellamy manages a murmured question.]
You sure about this?
[It's one last out, even if he's sure the answer will be something along the lines of 'shut up'. He can't help it, though. He cares about Murphy too much not to be a thousand percent sure he won't be hating himself for this later.]
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I know what I'm doing.
[ If the bond isn't enough to make that clear, the hard press of his erection ought to. But alright. That's obviously not enough to soothe away Bellamy's anxiety. ]
Listen, we can go slow. You don't have to do anything that's gonna make you feel guilty. Just let me take care of you.
[ Murphy's hand slips between their bodies, gliding between Bellamy's legs. ]
I won't be able to sleep until I get you off.
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It's not something he's going to regret. But, he realizes belatedly, it isn't fair for him to not take Murphy at his word on this. It isn't fair to get mired up in all of these concerns about what Murphy might feel later. Murphy knows what he's doing, and there's a point where protectiveness becomes ridiculous. That point has probably long passed when they're both hard and Murphy is on top of him, promising to get him off.
So, when he finally manages an answer, it comes out rough and breathless.]
Nothing is going to make me feel guilty. I want this.
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[ Murphy rewards that sentiment, his palm working a slow massage along Bellamy's cock through the thin layer of fabric that separates them. ]
I'm gonna make you feel so good, Bell. You have no idea how much I've thought about this.
[ He tucks his face into the crook of Bellamy's neck, laying a line of kisses from his shoulder along the curve of his throat and up to his jaw. ]
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Tell me how much.
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It's been real hard sleeping next to you every night. I just wanted to reach out and touch you, just like this, all the time.
[ He briefly catches Bellamy's earlobe with his teeth, giving it a light suck. ]
And that wasn't new. On the Ring, when you were the only one still talking to me... I thought about it. Thought maybe you kept coming 'cause you were thinking about it, too.
[ Given the evidence here... maybe he was. All things considered, though, it's for the best Murphy never made his move there. It's not as if this Bellamy would remember it. No, he's glad it's happening here, now. ]
Shit, Bellamy, since the first time I saw you. That's how long, how much...
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I think I was.
[He can't be sure, no, but it's an easy assumption to make. If Murphy wasn't with Emori up on the Ring, when they finally had time to just breathe, why wouldn't he think about it when he thought about it here? He knows exactly why he wouldn't have made the leap and done anything about it, too.
But they're not on the ground, and they're not on the Ring. They're here together, and there's no point thinking about wasted opportunities. Bellamy slides his hands down to grip Murphy's ass, half grinding their hips together.]
You gonna show me what I was missing?
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It isn't, though. Bellamy's been beside him every night for months now. With any luck, they'll have at least a couple more.
It takes all of Murphy's willpower to pull back instead of giving in to the urge to keep rutting up against Bellamy, if only so that he can shove off his boxers. He's back immediately, his mouth pressing heated kisses down Bellamy's chest as he strips him down, too. It's an impatient flurry of movement, long overdue. ]
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But right now, it's his turn. Murphy resumes his descent, climbing down until his lips brush up against Bellamy's cock. It sends a jolt of excitement through him, finally arriving someplace he thought he'd never reach. ]
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He takes Bellamy into his mouth. It's an experimental taste at first, tongue gliding against the head of his cock while his lips softly cradle it. But he doesn't torture Bellamy for long, one hand leaving his hip to guide him by the shaft for a better angle. Murphy dips down again, deeper this time, tongue slicking him properly with several luxurious laps. ]
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