week one, friday afternoon

[jettisons]

[It takes a while for Bellamy to calm down. Logically, he's seen worse. He's seen people tortured and murdered right in front of him, but that doesn't stop the sight of Haru's head from sticking in his thoughts, resurfacing again and again no matter how much he tries to push it away.

He knows it's worse for Akira. Bellamy saw the expression on his face when Hal uncovered Haru, and he knows Akira's not going to be doing well. It takes him a hell of a long time to find him, though, off on a remote part of the beach. Bellamy approaches slowly, trying to give Akira ample time leave if he needs it.]

Hey.

Comments

[jokered]

[bellamy is really more of a welcome face than most, because—well, bellamy already knows.

he knows that haru is someone precious to him, and he knows that akira had been resolved to making sure he could keep her safe.

which he failed to do.

obviously this is not him doing very well, even though he's clearly trying very hard to maintain some sense of composure.]

...Hey. [he's not refusing the company, at least.]

[jettisons]

[There's nothing good to say, and Bellamy knows it. No words can make this better, so he just says the only thing he can, resting a hand on Akira's shoulder.]

I'm sorry.

[jokered]

[though for a moment, he tenses up at the contact, it's short lived before he just slumps a little.]

I'll be okay. [he's not okay. he might not ever really be okay.] For her sake, I have to be okay.

[there's definitely a story to that, one he may not mind talking about, but he's bad at talking about personal things so he just sort of hesitates in that spot.]

[jettisons]

[Normally, Bellamy would have just taken that as a way to deal with grief without shutting down. He's had that exact same thought process before, but Akira hesitates, and he senses there's something more to it.]

What do you mean?

[jokered]

[there sure is.]

Haru's father... he was murdered too. In a different, gruesome way.

[she'd been through so much.]

He owned a huge corporation, and a lot of things were on her shoulders. [his expression falls a little, and akira closes his eyes, drawing in a breath.] She picked herself up and did everything she could to make the best of it. She fought hard. She believed in the people who were being falsely accused of causing it, too.

[so...] I owe it to her. To have as much resolve as she did.

[jettisons]

I'm sorry, Akira.

[He's already said it, but it bears repeating.]

She'd be proud of you for handling this the way you are.

[Akira is still going, and Bellamy knows how hard that is when you've lost someone. He understands intimately how tempting it is to shut down and give up.]

I won't lie to you and say it stops hurting, but you can still keep her memory alive.

[jokered]

I know it doesn't.

[stop hurting, of course. how could it? even with haru, after her father died—she picked herself up and kept going even as she mourned.

akira owes it to her to do at least that much, right/]

She won't be forgotten. I know I'm the only one who can remember the most important things—so I have to do better.

[he definitely has to stay alive.]

[jettisons]

[Well that's... Sort of what he meant. He doesn't want Akira running himself into the ground, because Bellamy has personal experience with that response to grief, too.]

Don't put this all on yourself. Raven and I are here for you.

[jokered]

[he nods. it's fine? he's fine...]

I appreciate it. There are still some things only I can do, though.

[in terms of remembering her. unfortunately, akira is just bad at accepting help because he is Leader and that kind of attention is new and unusual to him.]

I'm not going to do anything reckless on my own. [probably, though he's probably going to need to be held back a few times? it's okay.]

[jettisons]

Good. It's going to be a hell of a lot harder to keep you alive for Haru and Raven if you're a loose cannon tomorrow.

[It's an honest statement veiled by just a touch of teasing.]

[jokered]

[it helps. in some strange, almost cathartic way—the humor helps.]

That's me. A ticking time bomb, set to explode.

[though it's quiet and weaker than normal, there's still that dry edge to it that indicates pretty well and good that he understands bellamy here.]

I'll keep my calm tomorrow. [well, he'll try to, at least.]

[jettisons]

Hey, don't worry about it. If you don't, Raven will put you in your place.

[She's good at that.]

[jokered]

I bet she will. She'll kick my ass if she thinks I need it.

[he'd probably let her, too. honestly...]

[jettisons]

Damn right she will. She'll have your back.

[jokered]

I'll be counting on that like my life depends on it.

[you know, because it does.]