[ it's said a little flatly, a little skeptically, but — fortunately fof bellamy — she doesn't push. her own dreams are personal, plagued by memories and visions she would rather forget; that degree of understanding keeps her from prying where it isn't welcome. ]
Like I said, I didn't mind. You obviously needed sleep. [ and, more importantly: ] Which you would have gotten if you'd listened to me in the first place.
[ but she doesn't sound too angry. how can she be when he'd been so intent on carrying the weight of that much responsibility while the sick suffered? still, there is a hint of disapproval there, along with the unsaid i told you so. ]
I don't know. Maybe — [ the pitch of her voice drops, but it decidedly sounds nothing like bellamy. that decibel is out of range for her. ] "I'm sorry, Clary, you're so smart and you were totally right. I should listen to you more".
[ that's all she needs, truthfully. she might be temperamental, but she's easily placated. ]
[ that triggers a lengthy, extensive silence. it isn't that she's been rendered speechless — she has plenty to say at any given time, regrettably — but phrasing matters when it means potentially penetrating that thick skull of his. ]
If you're not going to take care of yourself for your own sake, you could at least do it for my sake.
[ it's not an entirely fair request and she knows it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel justified in some ways. ]
[That pulls him up short, and for a long moment, he just studies her, expression unreadable. He hadn't considered that, that maybe he was giving her one more thing to worry about when she was already sick and worrying about enough.]
[ anticipating an argument, another answer that doesn't sit well with her, draws her shoulders tight and her body tense. when it doesn't come, when there's only a pause and silence between them, she relaxes considerably. ]
It's fine. [ it isn't fine, not quite, but she isn't the type to stew in resentment over something so petty. it's a forgivable offense, even if bellamy was — and still is — supremely frustrating. ] Just stop being stupid about it.
[ she huffs out a breath, as if the very idea of him smiling is inflicting suffering on her part, but the sides of her lips twitch. feigning irritation isn't, as it turns out, her strong suit. a crappy liar, indeed. ]
[ there's no doubt that she allows it to happen, however begrudgingly, when her reflexes could easily deter her. just the same, her nose still wrinkles in evident disapproval before she raises her hand to gently swat his away. ]
"Whatever you say" is probably the right answer when I ask you to do something. It's good that you're finally learning.
[ that's unabashedly, undoubtedly sarcasm, for the record. she has an inkling bellamy isn't so easily cowed by any request she might have. ]
[ now, he says, like she asks so much of him. clary breathes out a disbelieving laugh, nearly just an exhale, and eyes him thoughtfully. she has her suspicions — this sounds fake, okay — but she'll give it a shot. ]
You could actually sleep when you get home so I don't have to worry about you collapsing somewhere.
[ she's starting with an easy request. be thankful. ]
[ yeah, don't worry, she's fully expecting him to either drift off on the couch again or tumble out the door and take a nap on the porch. close enough. ]
Do you promise?
[ maybe she's approaching this a little too intently, but she can't entirely be blamed for her disbelief. ]
[ she nods, immediately trusting of that promise. he hasn't broken a vow to her yet, and that sincerity leaves her with little reason to question the validity of that statement. ]
Okay. Good.
[ easily placated, maybe, or just more lenient and forgiving toward those she cares about. no great injustice has been done here, anyway, other than a lack of self-care on bellamy's part. ]
So. [ said super casually when the question isn't in the least, but. well, she's trying. ] Are you planning on staying? [ sussing that out feels important, what with the migration back and forth, but it's only after an awkward moment that she knows she needs to clarify. ]
Staying here. [ no, wait. ] Not... here here. [ in her home, with her. ] I mean Wyver.
[ the fast delivery and expression on her face says that she's clearly embarrassed, but the tone of her voice is amused in spite of it. her eyes roll not a moment afterward, unable to suppress it entirely. ]
It's not like I'd mind, but you know that's not what I meant.
[ somehow, hearing he knew that wasn't her intended meaning isn't surprising. she makes a face in his direction, though at least some of the embarrassment has drained from her face, and — as another silver lining — she isn't reaching to smack him in the arm for his teasing. ]
I don't know. Everything I have right now is in Olympia, including my job.
[ abandoning that feels wrong. choosing sides seems even more so with how limited their information is. for now, however, olympia is the more familiar option. ]
War has a way of making you pick sides eventually. [ speaking from personal experience. it's difficult to stay uninfluenced, but — again — they're too naive to the situation for clary to have much of an opinion on fighting a war. if there comes a point where it's a battle worth fighting for, she'll throw her hat into the ring, and only then. ] I'm just trying to do whatever feels right.
[ and, for now, wyver doesn't strike her as right. still, she'd easily follow the people she cares about wherever they want to reside. her loyalty to either side is indifferent, but her loyalty to the people around her is unwavering. ]
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[ it's said a little flatly, a little skeptically, but — fortunately fof bellamy — she doesn't push. her own dreams are personal, plagued by memories and visions she would rather forget; that degree of understanding keeps her from prying where it isn't welcome. ]
Like I said, I didn't mind. You obviously needed sleep. [ and, more importantly: ] Which you would have gotten if you'd listened to me in the first place.
[ but she doesn't sound too angry. how can she be when he'd been so intent on carrying the weight of that much responsibility while the sick suffered? still, there is a hint of disapproval there, along with the unsaid i told you so. ]
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What do you want me to say, Clary?
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[ that's all she needs, truthfully. she might be temperamental, but she's easily placated. ]
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If you're not going to take care of yourself for your own sake, you could at least do it for my sake.
[ it's not an entirely fair request and she knows it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel justified in some ways. ]
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...I'm sorry, Clary.
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It's fine. [ it isn't fine, not quite, but she isn't the type to stew in resentment over something so petty. it's a forgivable offense, even if bellamy was — and still is — supremely frustrating. ] Just stop being stupid about it.
[ #wisdom. ]
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And how do you want me to do that?
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as it turns out, her strong suit. a crappy liar, indeed. ]
Maybe exchanging your brain with someone else's?
[ rude. ]
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[He's judging.]
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[ look, judgement will only make her act that much brattier in retribution. ]
I'm already a big enough idiot, but thanks for the offer.
[ well, there's something to be said for self-acceptance. ]
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Whatever you say.
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"Whatever you say" is probably the right answer when I ask you to do something. It's good that you're finally learning.
[ that's unabashedly, undoubtedly sarcasm, for the record. she has an inkling bellamy isn't so easily cowed by any request she might have. ]
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You could actually sleep when you get home so I don't have to worry about you collapsing somewhere.
[ she's starting with an easy request. be thankful. ]
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Okay. I will, as soon as I get back.
[Realistically, she'll be lucky if he doesn't fall asleep here again.]
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Do you promise?
[ maybe she's approaching this a little too intently, but she can't entirely be blamed for her disbelief. ]
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I promise.
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Okay. Good.
[ easily placated, maybe, or just more lenient and forgiving toward those she cares about. no great injustice has been done here, anyway, other than a lack of self-care on bellamy's part. ]
So. [ said super casually when the question isn't in the least, but. well, she's trying. ] Are you planning on staying? [ sussing that out feels important, what with the migration back and forth, but it's only after an awkward moment that she knows she needs to clarify. ]
Staying here. [ no, wait. ] Not... here here. [ in her home, with her. ] I mean Wyver.
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You trying to get me to crash here, Clary?
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[ the fast delivery and expression on her face says that she's clearly embarrassed, but the tone of her voice is amused in spite of it. her eyes roll not a moment afterward, unable to suppress it entirely. ]
It's not like I'd mind, but you know that's not what I meant.
[ goddamnit bellamy. ]
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[He had to, okay?]
I haven't decided yet. I'm not looking to pick sides on their war. What about you?
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I don't know. Everything I have right now is in Olympia, including my job.
[ abandoning that feels wrong. choosing sides seems even more so with how limited their information is. for now, however, olympia is the more familiar option. ]
War has a way of making you pick sides eventually. [ speaking from personal experience. it's difficult to stay uninfluenced, but — again — they're too naive to the situation for clary to have much of an opinion on fighting a war. if there comes a point where it's a battle worth fighting for, she'll throw her hat into the ring, and only then. ] I'm just trying to do whatever feels right.
[ and, for now, wyver doesn't strike her as right. still, she'd easily follow the people she cares about wherever they want to reside. her loyalty to either side is indifferent, but her loyalty to the people around her is unwavering. ]